Friday, 24 February 2017

Coucou !

Assalam 'alaykum peeps,

Ugh, do I just jump straight back into blogging or come up with an excuse with regards to my one month long absence?

First of all, a thank you to the person who commented a few days ago about looking forward to my next post, it snatched a smile from me. It always makes me feel a little funny when I see how many of you come regularly on this blog even when I don't update it. I know probably 99% of ya'll come from the old Zawajland blog and it feels like you've seen me grow through my writing and the thoughts and ideas I share with you.

In all honesty, I dislike reading back what I wrote on Zawajland and if only I could find a way to delete that blog, trust me.. I would have done so a long time ago. The immaturity of some posts, the harsh judgements that I carried and the innocent romanticist view of Zawaj just makes it impossible for me to re-read those pieces of writing. But, somehow, people found them beneficial, funny and useful to the extent that still today, people will randomly message me to thank me for that blog. Well, I'm glad but for sure, if I was to write about this topic again, I know my views would be much more moderated and I guess that my gained life experiences would also provide new insights that I lacked at age 20.

Talking about age, my birthday is lurking around the corner. Again, if you've been following me for a while, you know that I usually write a post every year on my birthday to sort-of reflect on the year that went by and the one that's beginning. But let me tell you that this year has been unmatched in terms of how many times I have been asked my age. I don't think I have ever been asked much about my age but this year and especially since 2017.. oh boy! Is this normal or what?

The good thing -perhaps- is that when I say I'm 26 no one wants to believe me. I've had one lady refuse to even allow me to say my age when I said that I was over 20 because she wouldn't believe me anyway. All the new sisters I've met recently all enjoy praising my youthful appearance and whenever a new sister joins in, they find it hilarious to make her guess my age. I don't know guys.. I mean alhamdulilaah for good youthful genes but is it necessary to make it a big deal?

So 27 is only 2 months away and I feel it's gonna be a great age inshAllah. No one told me that the late 20s are cool like this. Honestly, 25 for me wasn't a fantastic age but 26 was lovely and I feel great about turning 27. People tend to focus so much on numbers and forget that it's just a number. It's like the weight thing, it's just a number! You may look great in the mirror but if you focus too much on the number that appears on the scale, you may be the cause of your own sadness. Likewise, age is but a number and as long as you look ahead and feel content with your life and what Allah has chosen for you, then it'll be fine.

That's another thing I was thinking of today. The only plan that ever works is Allah's plan. Think about it. How many plans have you made that never turned out? If I answer this question, the answer is: too many!  But alhamdulilah, because God has the plan and I trust His Plan more than I could ever trust mine. The next question that then came to my mind was: 'well... then what's the point of planning my life meticulously?'

I like plans and knowing where I'm headed and what's happening next but this year has been a year of all my plans literally falling in the water one after the other and I am not even exaggerating. 2017 alone has been quite a bumpy start to be honest but it's okay, I'm learning to fasten my seat-belt and learn to deal with the bumps along the road.

One of the best thing that happened this year and that wasn't planned until the very last minute was a short trip to Geneva. I only came back 2 days ago and I wish I was still there. Geneva is almost like the city of my childhood, we used to go there many summers and I have the most wonderful memories made in that city. It's one of my favourite cities ever. I love everything about it. I even contemplated moving there for a year during my short visit.. yeah I got a bit carried away.

I also got to see someone very dear to me and I guess his presence in the city is part of the reason why I love the city this much. Have you ever loved a place because a loved one lives there? Again, it wasn't clear in our initial plan if we would be able to see him but we managed alhamdulilah. See what I mean about plans? God's plan is the real plan. I don't want to say too much about this beloved person right now but to dissolve any doubts you may have, this person is one of my mahrams. Sorry if you were expecting me to narrate a long distance love story guys, maybe another time ;p

What else? I'm still trying to upkeep my Qur'an learning and trying to keep my revision schedule with my molar teeth. My beloved mahram from Geneva (BMG that's how I will refer to him from now) was eager to hear of my progress. Last time we met in 2011, he really encouraged me to get started on memorisation but sadly as you know, I only started the journey last year. Actually, when we met in 2011, I had gone to Geneva to conduct part of my BA field research (well, to be completely honest, I just wanted to see BMG) and it was right after a serious marriage proposal had been dissolved into thin air. Most of our conversations during that trip were based on marriage and how I should probably wait a little before tying the knot and how I should focus on constructing myself from all sides: education-wise, religion-wise, life experice-wise, financial-wise ect. Best advice I received let me tell you that.

We need to stop trying to put everyone in the same basket. Not everyone is made for university, not everyone is made for business, not everyone is made to become president, not everyone is made to get married at 20 ect. Trust the plan God has designed for you, learn to appreciate the bumps along the road and keep calm.

But sometimes I think I'm too calm.

Yallah I feel like I'm seeing a good friend I haven't spoken in years with all my ramblings. I'll try not to be absent this long again but I can't promise!

Stay blessed :)

Toddles x

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