Monday, 9 January 2017

'Men are trash'

It's 8:40am on a Monday morning and I'm wishing you a wonderful week ahead.

Last night was unusual because I got hooked on the TV for a good 4 hours (8pm to almost midnight!) and for someone who doesn't watch TV or has that much screen time.. it was an overload. It was the kind of program that glued your eyes to the screen and made you slightly open your mouth unconsciously, you know what I mean? I watched this documentary/film reconstruction about several left wing political frenchmen and it was so passionately interesting. However, I didn't really manage to sleep well last night and I kept "dreaming" about DSK (if you know) and the rest of them. Is this what happens for ya'll when you watch your movies and TV shows? That's not cool. Even after reciting my adkhaar, these guys were floating in my mind and I woke up with François Hollande being the first thing on my mind this morning #ugh

Anyways, the first half of the program was dedicated to DSK and his story. DSK was a brilliant student, excelled in economics and matters of finance, slowly integrated politics, became respectable member of parliament, started gaining popularity, became a minister, became the head of the FMI which is one of the world's most powerful organisation and then suddenly everything went downhill for him. Why? Because of women and because of money (but more so because of women).

Throughout his career, this man had been playing left, right and centre and had affairs behind his wife. Well, he had 3 marriages; 2 those he ended because he met another woman.. first alarm. They tried to explain his "obsession" with women with the fact that his first marriage was at age 17/18 (very early) and so he didn't have the "time" to "play" before settling down and unlike his peers, he decided to "play" at an age of maturity, professional responsibility and this was a fatal mistake.

The big scoop which was to affect his career the most was the affair that happened in the US where he was accused of raping the cleaning lady but nothing was proven. Actually, none of the allegations against him were ever proven but all these women kept appearing claiming that DSK had harassed them, that he abused his status of authority to demand favours or done something to them. Some believed that this was a plot to make him ineligible as the future president since this was his intent and they indeed succeeded. I believe that it was probably a bit of both, they clearly didn't want him to become president and he had his desires uncontrolled and feared nothing.

Everyone has weaknesses, every single person but if women are your weakness... you're in serious trouble. Lately, I see so many sisters on social media saying "men are trash" and this has become like a slogan to them. I've always disapproved of that statement and I really don't like it when they say that. I believe that by saying that.. they are 1) not being fair by generalising all men in one group 2) I believe that you become what your thoughts are so, the more you repeat this statement, the more you'll convince yourself that it's true when it's not 3) I also believe in the psychology of attraction, you attract what you think is true/ real so if you think men are trash..all you'll end up having/attracting are trashy men.

So, in the end.. the ladies who keep saying this are the real losers. Sometimes, I wonder what these young girls have seen in their short lives to come up with such a bold statement? But I think that it's a stage that every girl goes through. I also went through that stage of thinking that all men were a waste of space and oxygen but I was never bold or 'violent' about it. This was back in 2015 and it was after something that stumbled on me unexpectedly (ps: I was not involved in this but I was a witness) I was hurt deeply and I believe it was one of the saddest moments of my life and so, as a way to relieve my sadness, I rationalised my mind by thinking that all men are dumb and unworthy.

I remember even saying that I'm not interested in marriage and that I'll probably not marry. I kept sending subliminal messages to my parents about it like "what's the point of marriage if all men are unfaithful" just to talk about it. You know when something is heavy on your heart and talking about it is the only means to unload that burden? Shout out to my mom and my journal for having been there for me at that time. Personally, I don't have the boldness to ever say something like "men are trash" (how rude is that? All hell would break loose if a guy said "all women are trash"?) and always prefer subliminal messages. Anywho, I got over this episode after a while and so I understand that it's like a passage for many sisters to have these resentful feelings towards men due to experiences they've gone through or has seen other go through.

But, this is not a reason to shout and plaster this wrong belief all over social media. This is causing more damage and creating doubt, anxiety and trouble to many sisters who aren't even thinking of marriage. 

Women are men's weakness, there's no doubt about that. Married or single, it doesn't even matter. Muslim or non-muslim, it doesn't matter. Do you remember how Quraysh tried to seduce the Prophet 'alayhi salaam at the beginning of his message? One of the things they tried to entice him with was by offering him their most beautiful women for him to stop and renounce spreading the message. But the blessed prophet knew better and he knew that this message of Islam was worthier and holier than any worldly material thing be it women or money. Alhamdulilah.

Yet, the prophet 'alayhi salaam also mentions in a hadeeth that from the most beloved things to him of this world are 1) women and 2) perfume. So, women are something that men naturally are attracted to and something they love to keep close. Another narration mentions that the best "متاع" (enjoyment/pleasure) of this world is a righteous woman who when you look at her, you become pleased. So, we as women really hold a huge power in that sense. We have the potential to be the greatest asset to someone. And we also have the ability to be a man's biggest destruction. 

There are many women in the world. Some who work hard to destroy marriages and men. Others who are despondently shouting "men are trash" and lead such negative and desolate lives. And others who understand the power (positive and negative) they hold over men and choose to live their lives respectably and expect respectable treatment and honour in return. You choose.

Yallah, have a good Monday :-)

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