Sunday, 20 November 2016

Lists

Assalam 'alaykum,

Here's an extract from my journal, I've been trying this new way of journaling which is listing. Listing, as the name suggests, is trying to write using lists and trying to put forth what you want to say in as little words as possible. Sometimes it's nice to try and be straight to the point and so, this has been something I've enjoyed and still enjoying. It can also allow you to really pin down what you want in your life, what your likes and dislikes are ect. I have a lot of list promps that I haven't yet started (I bought a book that talks about list-writing and it has loads of promps for you to start writing on like the ones below) and I'm so excited to keep doing it. I might share some of the others I wrote.. 

Types of people I don't want in my life

- people who bring me no benefit in this life nor in the hereafter
- people who are not empowering nor positive
- people with tunnel-like vision
- those unable to keep a sane and interesting conversation
- who look only after their end of the bargain
- who bring trouble and problems wherever they go
- with no or severe lack of basic manners
- who make my chest feel constricted, uncomfortable
- who I cannot be my real self around them
- who only talk about irrelevant or non-beneficial topics
- those who constantly push you to indulge in 'al-laghw'
- those who oppress others, mock others
- arrogant and boastful people

Activites I find contentment in

- writing in my journal, creating these lists
- talking to myself, advising and reprimending myself
- walking and taking some fresh air
- reading
- meditating and questioning myself
- worshipping my Creator
- memorising the Qur'an and being in a state of fasting
- watching nature and finding sublimity in the smallest of things
- walking during the sunset, watching the sun set
- watching my old videos and vlogs
- remembering funny/memorable events with my family
- spending quality time with the people I love
- being by myself in the masjid
- being silent and listening to my mind

The makeup that suits me most

- try my best not to wear much make-up
- no makeup make-up look is what I go for
- I like my 'makeup' to be invisible to others on a daily basis
- eyeliner on my eyes suit me, my eyes are one of my nice features
- combing my lashes
- a little darkening of brows, not definig them
- a little concealer where needed
- a little powder to uniform the skin
- a little colour on my lips
- realising I don't too much like makeup
- love lip products, my fave kind of cosmetics
- no foundations
- no modification of my entire face or creating fake features that I don't have
- simple look, fresh, clean, modest is what I go for

Conversations I enjoy having

- deep conversations
- conversations that make me question things
- where I can learn or extract benefit from
- religious conversations
- about various topics: history, science, nature, animals, life, planets, literature, psychology, medicine, technology
- where both people listen and talk
- where the other person genuinely listens and asks for your input or your opinion
- where the conversation is not forced or difficult to maintain
- where moments of silence are appreciated and not shunned
- conversations with people I love like my family
- conversations that force you to open up and show your vulnerability (to do only with people you love and trust)
- where you feel like you can say what you feel without the need to sugar-coat
- conversations about happy memories
- conversations that make me grab my chin
- where I say 'mmh mmh' and 'interesting' quite a bit
- conversations that keep on replaying in my mind long after we finished and departed (some conversations I've had are inked in my mind for ever. This shows how meaningful they were to me)
- conversations that last for hours and cover endless topics
- late night conversations with my mother
- conversations with my own self
- conversations with my heart
- conversations with my mind
- conversations with my Creator (How can I even describe this feeling? This past Ramadan, during one of the last 10 nights, in the Haram Makki, while we were waiting for tahajjud to start, I laid on my side. Next to me was an Indian sister (in her 40s) who was making du'a in her language, raising her palms, eyes closed, tears dropping, heart wishful, soul expectant; witnessing this scene created something inside me. It was amazing seeing her humbling herself like that, begging the All-Mighty. I was next to her and I had no idea what she was praying for but Allah (swt) knew and that's all that counts. All I knew was that, whatever she was asking, she really wanted it and I prayed that Allah grants her her wishes for forgives her. It touched me. I'll never forget it. Since, I've also found an incredible taste in conversing with Allah (swt). The knowledge that no-one but Hi (swt) can hear our conversations is satisfying. So, yes! My most beloved conversations are those I have with my Creator. And He (swt) talks to me through the Qur'an. How many times was I in need of a reminder and I randomly opened the mushaf, ran my finger through a page while closing my eyes and stopped at a verse and I found my Lord telling me and talking to me. Alhamdulilah and indeed, I look forward to conversing with Him (swt) in the Hereafter.)

Conversations I hate having

- involve backbiting and talking about other people's businesses in a negative way
- that are not enlightening
- small talk
- involves obscenity in any way, shape or form
- where I feel left out, usually when it involves several loud people
- where one person is doing all the talking and not allowing you to talk
- that require too much energy to maintain

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